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“Who Was Responsible For The Suffering Of Your Mother?” - After Bhanu Kapil

retrospection is a deep pain

with the realization that the deities

once revered are fallible and vulnerable.

disillusionment dissatisfies and deeply traumatizes,

grasping at the fading faith

in those whom you idolized.


“who was responsible for the suffering of My Mother?”


the question that lingers everyday

i would often think of you.

the man who My Mother chose;

the man who charmed Her with

saccharine gifts and empty gestures.

a gift who became Her joy.

a gift who became me.

the only gift you ever gave Her.


emotional outbursts are your bread and butter

each day a ticking time bomb to suffer

we, your meek royal subjects

subjected to your lashing tongue

Your Highness demanding all but

giving none in return.

a conditional love that will never fade

a condition for Her mind, body, spirit

a condition for my excellence and accomplishments

all to build the perfect illusion.


nights of conflict, anxiety, tensions

rising, i cowered as My Mother endured

your ire. screaming contests that never ended.

i watched as She wept for her predicament,

under the watchful eyes of your panopticon

you were the omnipresent monument in our lives

that never lifted a finger to even

share Her burdens.


i saw the photos. i saw

you. me. not Mother. another boy.

you played house while My Mother

toiled away for you.

you Judas, you Brutus, you

betrayer of our family.


you promised to be better,

you promised we would live well,

you promised to repay Her, yet

you wasted Her money

you wasted Her trust

you wasted Her time


who is responsible for the suffering of My Mother?

i often ask myself that question everyday

i look in the mirror and the front camera of my phone

and see you.

i tell my beloved that i don’t want to

end up like you.

you do not own My Mother.

i wished She could be rid of you.

but i know She will never leave you.


i had always been scared of you.

but as i age and become more like you,

i realize you are not a tyrant nor a monster.

you are a just man – a man child

who never grew up,

who never thought

to take responsibility for his actions.

i slowly begin to realize that

we are the same.


i reside in a faraway land,

frivolously spending Her resources.

i’m in my lavish American dream and

Her in Her Chinese nightmare

i drain and I drain –

still She gives.


Mother pleads for my attention

just an ounce – a text, a call

would make Her happy,

yet my priorities are askew.

i spend time on work and games and

my debauchery, She pleads again and again

until my guilt overwhelms me.


i want to be the good son,

to be a better man than you,

to love and care for Her

when you rarely did, but


i neglected Her to your mercy

i neglected Her for my dream

She suffers for two ingrates, and we

still do not repay Her for Her

sacrifices.


we are coconspirators of My Mother’s suffering.



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